I got this madlib from DaemonHikage.
Here's the link: [link]

H'okay, here goes.

Harry Potter And The Curse of Dudley

Harry Potter, the boy wonder, the douchenozzle of the wizarding world; sat alone in his tiny bedroom scratching his pores and cleaning the palladium hydride out of Hedwig's cage. This summer wasn't nearly as boring as his previous summers had been.

Over the summer, his cousin Dudley had grown quite frightened of him. Harry secretly kept cursing him, even though under age use of magic was strictly forbidden outside of Hogscabies's school of popcorncraft and rhombus.

It seemed the wizarding world turned a blind scalp when it came to Harry, and he never got in trouble for his... transgressions.

One particularly memorable curse on Dudley happened on the 308th of June. It was so hot, you could juice a/an Timex on the sidewalk.

Dudley sat on his enormous polydactyly stalk in front of the telly, spooning blood bagful after blood bagful of pad thai down his throat. Harry thought he looked rather giant isopodish, with his piggy little eyes and fat body.

Harry got an evil little grin on his anvil and raised his wand behind Dudley's head. "ALTERUM ICTUM FACIAM!" he shouted; which translated to English means "Turn this boy's head into a guava and make him dance around like a bush baby with Bell's palsy!"

And that's just what Dudley did! He dipped off the couch, screamed "BLATHERSKITE!" to the top of his lungs, and began flooding on the floor, while turning in circles and flapping his sweater melons.

Harry was laughing so hard, he peed his toe sock. He was still laughing, and Dudley was still flapping, when Uncle Vernon came thundering down the stairs. He had gone a nice shade of purple. He looked at Harry, shaking in anger, then looked at Dudley, horrified. "YOU WILL HAVE GREAT SUCCESS IN THE BATHROOM!" he screamed, then calmly turned and walked away.

Harry and Dudley looked at each other in abject confusion. Harry shrugged his shoulders in a "beats me" gesture, and the two cousins sat on the sofa, temporarily forgetting their animosity toward one another.

Dudley lifted the half empty blood bag of pad thai and offered it to Harry.

"Don't mind if I do!" said the bespectacled young man, grabbing a spoon and preparing to dine.

Dudley's sweater melons gave one mighty final flap, and the boys had a most enjoyable evening, indeed.